Chaos and Christmas - Royal Style

Once a year in the Arthur Kingdom comes a tradition fondly referred to by commoners as Christmas. A time to remember the birth of baby Jesus and all things holy. That is, if you're common and you believe that rot.

True royals such as the Princes and Princess of the Arthur Kingdom view Christmas as a time where loyal slaves.... er umm... I mean subjects... take time from their busy serving schedules to make merry for their royal highnesses. This time involves lots of decorating, eating and present giving, with the majority of these herculean efforts revolving around the said royals.

This year was no exception. Their royal highnesses ate and were merry unwrapping dozens of presents in front of bemused slaves who realised that they were to be the ones to find room for all the gifts. One slave stupidly mentioned the thought of disposing of the old broken items from last year and was almost beheaded for her insolence. How dare you!

Upon this blessed time there also reigns something fondly referred to as "Holidays" where simple folks get time off to spend with friends and family, away from their places of work. Unfortunately for the slaves this time is referred to as "quality time" where efforts are again redoubled as their majesties now have no other diversions in the outside world. Royal voices seem louder and more demanding than usual for these poor, overworked slaves and the normal diversions of adult conversations and blissful food shopping expeditions are now pock-marked with screams (which amuses the royal children no end) and additional expenses involving sticky, chocolate-y bribes.

Said holiday and Christmas periods are enjoyed immensely by both Princes and the Princess alike, and of course by the ever-faithful, ever-loyal slaves. For after all, this is the true meaning of the season!

Nobility Bakery?

Once upon a time....

Two princely Princes persuaded their overworked slaves to let them try their hand at baking. One slave quickly and quietly stole away and left the kingdom for several hours; the other slave fell for their puppy-dog eyes and with great reservation, located the famous "Cuisine for Kingdoms Cookbook".
Both princes immediately decided to bake something the commoners would appreciate and agreed on Jam Drop Biscuits.

Prince Reiley and Prince Jesse go-a-bakin!

One jam splattered, cookie crumbed kitchen, cookie crumbed loungroom, bedroom and oddly enough cookie-stuffed SHOE was enough to proclaim baking as a success! The two Princes were decidedly chuffed with their achievement, declaring that the Bikkies not already eaten or disposed of were "For Dad". (Apparently the Princes were not pleased with his earlier escape!)
A quiet calm descended on the kitchen as the Princes made their escape and left the somewhat bemused slave to bring the room to rights.

The Princess and her slave

Meanwhile life for the Princess was decidedly unbecoming! For today she lowered herself (for the sake of the Kingdom's Health and Wellbeing Policy) to obtaining her next lot of immunisations at the local Doctors Office. All reports issued by her press release slave state that the injections went well with the princess raising her eyebrow and proclaiming (after one injection was administered) "Off with his head!". Fortunately for THIS Kingdom (and its Health and Wellbeing Policy) this proclamation was issued in fairy language only understood by slaves and other little people of the Kingdom. Thus the behedding did not take place.

So once again we take our leave from the Arthur Kingdom... all Princes and Princesses asleep on their feather beds, and slaves eeking out their meagre existance and daily dose of reality TV..... all quiet..... for now

Welcome to...
The Arthur Kingdom is a place of calm chaos. Nestled into the green foothills of the Northern Rivers it provides great opportunities for its slaves. Namely care for the kingdom and its inhabitants. The kingdom consists of 2 princely boys, curageous and valiant and one pretty princess, strong and noble.

So without further ado, introducing the key players in our Kingdom...... beginning with Prince Reiley in his "sexy Reiley" pose.

Quick Stats:

D.O.B: 27th January 2002

Length of labour: 5 hours

Weight: 9 pounds 1 and a half ounces, 50cms long

Favourite foods: Chicken, Bananas, and Chicken, plus chicken and chicken.

Our next introductee is Prince Jesse trying his best to look innocent of any crime committed, even though the evidence is all over his face!

Quick Stats:

D.O.B: 11th January 2004

Length of Labour: 7 hours

Weight: 10 pounds 12 ounces, 58cms long

Favourite Foods: Anything that Reiley will eat, nothing he wont! Loves Gnocci and foreign matter found behind furniture and on the carpet.

Last but not least is our Princess Ruby, quiet, serene in princess pink; she rules the Arthur Kingdom with a chubby fist of iron. The princes fold to her every whim, not to mention the herculean efforts of her two slaves fondly referred to as Daddad and Mmmmm.

Quick Stats:

D.O.B: 30th November 2005

Length of Labour: 7 hours and 45 minutes

Weight: 10 pounds 4 ounces and 58cms long

Favourite Foods: Mmmm's specially made pumpkin mix, custard and milk arrowroot biscuts.

And there we shall leave you for this day; happy in the knowledge that the Arthur Kingdom thrives in relative peace.... for now!

P.S Sometime later we will introduce you to the slaves... but they're not bladdy important!